What am i doing with my life? I seem to get stuck in a cycle of the normal daily life of going to school and coming back from school. Outings with friends are rare probably because i am not good at planning meetings with friends.

I need, want, hope, wish, desire to break free from this monotony... but how? Ranting doesnt particularly solve this problem well.

Action? Too lazy to actually make a move... well.. then i dont think i have anyone/anything to blame except for myself..

How i wish my life will be like that of a script when i discover that my family is the long lost family member of some royal familu and we'll be whisked off to some secluded and private island.. woow...

stop dreamin and start sleeping!

time 419am

i just finished slogging my work for later and i SHOULD be tired... well my eyes feel tired but mentally i still feel wide wide awake... since its been a while i wrote.. heck lets see what i can squeeze out from my grey matter

its september now n i before i can say holy-crap-time-passes-so-quickly its my second year now in NAFA .

thts fast...

though my work constantly stays at the back of my head.. i dun feel doing work is a drag as compared to the time i was in JC.. memorizing stuff isnt really my cup of tea...

time 425

i juz signed out from friendster and suddenly i feel like i m lackin some... challenge in my life.. there isnt much of an excitement like wat some of my frens experienced in the past n now... true ive had my fair share of it in the past but now my life seems to be revolving around school... its kinda hard to find time to really lets my short hair down... wonder how its like to be in the life of someone who is experiencing excitement right now...

i havent been posting entries of any sort for QUITE awhile, well maybe i'm just getting bored of this blog thing... but come to think of it, sometimes just typing things out can be a rather unique way of destressing.

anyway.. i have something to confess.. i m in awe of my younger bro. things seem to be going right for him every step he takes, be it studies, sports, career and wat have you. compared to him, i seem pretty mediocre.. and thts when i start to think of aspects in which i m doing better.. n in this case.. i think i'm taller than him.. hahaha ok so this might sound pretty dumb but i wish i could be in his shoes n see how he lives his life and maybe bask in his limitless talents for awhile.. hahahah but at the end of the day.. i m who i m and i m quite proud to say that i m still satisfied with the life i'm living now =)

i've had my fair share of ups and down and experienced things that few have (like flying a plane even though it was for a few hours) , i've also loved n currently am still loving =) all in all... life isnt dealing such a lousy card to me after all..

studyin in NAFA is a choice i shld have made in secondary school but if i were to make that choice 4 years ago.. i wouldnt have got to know my bunch of crazy frens of 03s54 and the idea of playing rugby would still have been just an idea.. so i've taken a long route but at least i got to see more scenery along the way =)

here are more random blabberings... i was looking at all those private estates n terraces while driving my gf down to vivo n i was thinking.. HOW THE HELL THOSE PPL MAKE THT TYPE OF MONEY TO STAY AT THT TYPE OF PLACE!? deep down i'm hoping that i'll get a good job next time n have the capacity to open a design company of my own. tht will still be a pipedream for now but its wats keeping me going on strong =)

hmmm... shit.. i shld be doing my homework now.. tata~

HHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

my life is a double edged sword

when i'm enjoying it

the enjoyment kills me

=D

i had a very happy birthday cuz my frens took the time to celebrate with me and although some couldnt make it.. i'm still very happy cuz truthfully.. even if only 1 came.. i'll still be contented =D

things juz wasnt staying tht way...

human mind can be such a f******* difficult thing to understand sometimes... juz when u think u had everything in control.. *wham!* u fall into a puddle of shit...

most of the time, woman can cry when they arent happy or when they r feeling very... 委屈... but certainly... it isnt a luxury of men to weep openly... so sometimes i'm shouting out inside of me... if only i had a doppleganger so he knows how i'm feeling and share the pain i feel...

happy birthday to me...

i'm here writing at 247 in the morning and its a few hours more before i hand in my projects.. what does this shows??

it means that i have nothing better to do than to write a blog which i firmly believes only a handful, and i mean less than 5, actually happens to stumble across this blog..

and why am i writing this in the first place??

perhaps i am just hoping to get some attention but its not really going according to plan..

sometimes when i am enjoying myself with activites or hanging out with friends or loved ones.. my mind will start to wander...

'what exactly are we living our life for?'

maybe for those who are very learned they might give answers like 'to find the true meaning to life itself', to leave a mark on people's lives or simply ' just to go through the cycle of life'.

i think i just lost my train of thought... nvm that...

sometimes i have a very strong urge to just... fast forward to my distant future and see whats install for me.. but who knows what will happen when i get there...

some things are certain though..
-ur loved ones will be aged and unfortunately some will move on to the next cycle of life..
-YOU will grow old and time will always ave the upper hand no matter how hard u try to resist it...

okokokokok.. i have no idea what i'm typing... ciao joey

things to ponder..

-why do people tend to press the remote harder when its low on battery?
-why do people laugh till they cry and cry till they laugh??
-why do we have to 'see to believe' when people warn us not to 'believe in everything we see'?

ok..that wasnt alot of things for u people to ponder and yes... i''m sure u people have seen them quite alot of times but it doesnt hurt to read more =)

today was a very packed day... had to go to work then go to my aunt's house and then to a bdae celebration n finally to baby's fren's house for steamboat!

steamboat was good good good and having a choco fondue is like adding the cherry to the icing on the cake.. =D thks jeanette!

happy last semester baby!!! enjoy ur fren's company!!! (o_O) b

works starting to pile... gotta find the motivation to complete them quick...

hello to whoever might chance upon this dead blog! been a loong while since i last wrote an entry. well.. lots of things have happened during this period of absence, though the good far outweighs the bad =)

firstly, after 2 years of being a soldier and employee, i finally started school!!! but the feeling of the new institution (sounds way more sophisticated hahhaah) is way better than when i was in sec and jc. probably because its much more free here as compared to havin some some farts setting up discipline committee.

i just lost my handphone recently in the cab, and the irony is on the journey we were talking abt good karma bad karma. did i have too much bad karma on me tht my poor ex-handphone has to pay e price. and i m quited disappointed with whoever picked up e phone. called my hp dozens of times hoping tht whoever picked it up will inform me. ZILCH. tht evil bastard switched off my phone!!! oh man.. why cant some singaporeans be more honest... damn..
maybe i thought of my phone too much, i even dreamt of gettin the phone back in my dreams. alas.. its just a dream..

oh ya.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!

after all the late night trainings, the competition was finally over. hopes were high on at least 1 of our team making it to macau.. but maybe its a case of having too high an expectation of ourselves, we didnt make it.

though we are all disappointed.. we still have to move on n look forward to e nxt comp n not let this little setback bring us down.. WENYANG GO!! (o_O) b

phew.. finally can slp tht bit more for now.. hahaha muz go back to my gym regime soon!!

saturday meeting a slim gal for a date!!! ahahha transformers~ robots in disguise!! YEAH!!! have this sudden urge to get my hands on something since i was a little wide eyed little boy.. GET OPTIMUS PRIME's TOY FIGURINE!!! ahahahaha oh man..

i cant imagine how much a driving licence can cost... sure is good money for the instructors and teaching sch...

ways to make more money being an instructor
-sleep most of ur way thru when u r teaching ur students so they will always have things for u to teach them
-start giving them tips one by one only when they failed their first test so they will have to come back to u for lessons
-be as lenient as possible so the students will think they are doing fine when in fact the techniques they r using are wrong most of the time

the above are just tongue-in-cheek and isnt true for most of the instructors




*


oh man.. i miss my baby!!!! gonna meet her tml n nxt wed.. lets enjoy ourselves... oh oh.. the lazy bug is acting up.. hahaha ciao~

Finally managed to sit down in the early morning and get down to writing an entry in this barren blog. Not that people read this anyway, except of the joy of my life =)

It's been 1 year, 2 months and 20 days since we have been together and i must admit, the oh-so-sweet stuff have dimished quite a fair bit but i think it has been replaced by something far more precious--maturity. Gone are the silly i-am-missing-you mass sms, in its place are simple messages from each others heart =) Also, we started doing different things together, gym sessions and shopping are new on the list of things-to-do.. hahahh and praises for my baby!!! you have slimmed down!! d(0_O)b aza aza fighting! And i will always be graeful for the chance to meet you and have you in my life. Love you baby!

And of worries..well my driving test is juz round the corner and sad to say, i have no confidence in passing it the first time round, given the fact that i don't have much free time for practices and the instructor cant seem to find me in on my free days most of the time... man oh man..

*juz dozed off there juz now*

Sleeping long hours seem to be a rarity nowadays and yes.. i am complaining that 6 hours a day is not enough of me! and for the rare visitors to my blog saying that they sleep less than that.. well.. that isnt my concern! hahhaha

okay.. gonna cut this short.. all in all.. life is going well for me and i certainly am looking forward to attending school after 2 years + of non studying..

ciao~

why oh why little guy
have you forgotten the simple pleasures in life
and instead taking to being envious of other guys

have you, little guy, forgotten to enjoy the sunshine
or the rain that soothes your mind
or even the comics that brightens your life?

little guy oh little guy
life isnt about wishing you can live out people's life
it's about how you want yours to be lived

a simple word of advice little guy
reach for the sky in your life
and you may end up loving life

oh man oh man... why do i keep getting envious of people's life? it is because i am always so close and yet so far to the path supposedly laid out for me? or maybe my expectations of myself are higher than what i can achieve?? oh man.. cloud of depression is looming over me.. damn.. oh well... tomorrow will be a brighter day!

extreme makeover home edition is totally OVER THE HILL. Imagine building a new house from scratch in a span of 1 week, and tht includes gettin new furniture, appliances n what have you.. truly they change people's life totally.. when is singapore going to have such an EXTREME prog??

when to celebrate my 'brother's ' birthday hahaha n though it was a rather belated one... we had a real enjoyable time =) sushi galore n ice cream galore! woO! hahaha thks for the treat bro! (o_O)b

after the meal, we went for a little window shoppin n do i really need a pair of casual shoes? hmmm.. but i have to keep remindin myself not to spend money wastefully.. buy wat i NEED not wat i want.. but i still bought 2 movies anyway.. hahahah but its going for dirt.. 2 for less than 10! woo.. so i actually saved a lot of money.. wun feel guilty abt spendin if i think of it this way.. =)

at the end of eveything.. baby n i went to our old fav hunt---- esplanade~ can still remember the times when we were there at the beginning of our relationship.. sitting under the moon with the sea n guesssin how many ppl r havin 'affairs' at the still lit office buildings.. hahahah time sure pass real fast! its already reachin half a year! wow! goodnight baby~ love u!

It really feels good to be appreciated for the efforts put in during work and although i am not the type that open glees and feels proud about it, i do acknowledge the encouragement and pray hard that i don't get boastful about it. Guess i will have to work doubly or triply hard in order not to disappoint them. =) This is the first time i enjoyed myself so much at work, maybe it's because there is acutally lots of hands on at Rocky's? Being a waiter at my previous workplace also has lots of hands on but that's of a different kind.

So there you have it, here is just a entry of gratitude towards my managers for being so nice. =)

baby and i went singing
kbox which is at JEC
lots of fun with her i did
though i think my voice quite stinks
all in all i still loved it
cuz its spent with my baby~

hahahaha trying singing it to the tune of 'twinkle twinkle' =)

yup! i gave her my first time.. first time at kbox! though i was really nervous when she got me to sing the first song... i slowly started to warm up and tried singing.. though she said i sang ok.. but i still felt weird hearing my own voice.. will there be a nxt time?? we'll see.. hahaha

then after tht.. we went to watch 300.. its a totally awesome movie!!! the spartans are all damn gung-ho.. full of bravery and brilliant fightin tactics but there were lots of why-did-they-do-that type of questions in me.. hahahah i shant share them here.. wun wanna ruin it for those who didnt catch it yet...

today's work was.. woo-hoo!! hahaha damn tired... legs felt like braking man.. maybe i m juz weak lah.. =)

All alone in the living room in the morning (1+ am) typing this entry because i feel that i have something deep inside i want to share badly.

I ponder my next sentence at my fingers hover above the keyboard.

Well, i have everything(almost) going for me, happy relationship, good (temp) job, nice family and good friends. Yet, once in a long while, there will be a feeling of emptiness, goalessness, if there is such a word, rising from within. This is the time where i will be asking myself an unanswerable question--- what's my purpose here??

Study? Get a good job? Happy family? Ok.. so what if i do achieve all that? Can i bring all the happiness with me when i pass on to the next phrase of life? If not, then what am i doing all these for? Whether i have a smooth sailing or stumbling blocks filled life next time, i cant sure as hell bring them with me when i go six feet under.

Then why are most people working hard and earning their keep when it really seems that material things are all unimportant if we look at the BIG picture.

Yet there seems to be that one word that will more or less paint a clearer picture--satisfaction.

(Most)People work to get the satisfaction that comes at the end of everu month, seeing their paycheck. With that money, they get a sense of satisfaction when they spend or give allowances to their parents, wives, mistresses, etc...

So it seems all the toiling we go through has a purpose.

And why did i create this entry? To get a sense of satisfaction knowing that i had written a longer than usual entry. =)

take care people and do take the time to sidetrack from all the hectic schedule and enjoy the world.

ytd's work was very satisfying because there was a lot of advance orders with many pizzas ordered at one go =) at was a rush so time seemed to go faster so in the twinkling of an eye, wriggling of the nose, twitching of the fingers... its time to knock off!!

then i made my way to baby's house for a shower n we were off to celebrate her fren's birthday at vivocity's 'vilage' hahaha

note: i's not sure if i m right but marche hasnt changed its name to vilage, its just tht the new eatery has a similar style tht of marche =)

the food wasnt too bad but the variety was a bit too few.. not bad nevertheless.. (o_O) b

so after tht we were plannin to catch a movie but 'the ultimate movie destination' didnt have e film we were lookin for.. so much for ultimate.. hahahaha so there we were.. hangin around coffee beans tryin to find ways to return e money to jeannette but alas.. all went to naught as she refused totally.. hhhahaha

so while sendin baby home i decided to help her stock up on her food so she wouldnt go all hungry n gettin her frens to buy for her~ hahahahaha =P

something juz hit me... 911 is the number americans call to get help, yet thts also the day where help was needed for them.. oOOo freaky..

damn shit... live can be quite topsy turvy sometimes. there i am at my friend's birthday party enjoying myself with this 'thing' right at the back of my head... enjoying myself and feeling somewhat... negative.. what an irony eh..

sometimes, especially now, i wish tht i can just take a deep breath and exhale all the worries, sadness and negativities out just like that.. hahaha wont tht be cool?

oh well.. no use being so.. boo-hoo-pityy-myself now.. hahaha so right now i have a crazy wish

since i m 21 this year.. i hope i can book a theatre n invite all my 21 years old frens to catch a r(A) movie! ahahaha of cuz... its will be those tasteful western type inside of those wham-bang-thk-you-mdm type of pornos.. hahahahah now tht thought did cheer me up! hahaha

cheerios!

*shrugs* i am so tired am to think i am still going to wake up at 530 in the morning and make my way down to help out in the lion dance today.. God knows how i am feeling now.. so damn dead tired =(

it's time like now that i hope there is someone to ask me how i am feeling after work and blah blah blah words like those.. oh well.. i shall trudge along and find solice in my comfortable bed! I AM COMING MY DEAR BED-ON-THE-FLOOR!!!

oh ya.. really enjoyed myself at my friend's condo's clubhouse with my fellow army friends.. =) all the best dudes though i know none of you know about this blog.. anyway.. take care!